Take a moment to think about how you feel about your nanny. Is she*/he an extra set of hands? An employee? The help? A member of the family? Whether you realize it or not, your Nanny is helping to raise your children. She is instilling your family’s values, philosophies, and a vision for their future. She is supporting your children’s emotional growth, social skills, and developmental progress. Additionally, she is modeling behaviors and morals, and following the routines and rules/boundaries that you set, giving your child more consistency.
If you don’t already feel that way about your nanny, it’s a good time to start treating her like a partner. The benefit of doing so is that there will be clearer expectations, improved communication, and your nanny will have increased job satisfaction (resulting in longer employment and less turnover).
What does this look like? Let’s start with making sure your nanny has the respect she deserves. Does she have an employment contract, is she treated with respect, is she recognized for her efforts, and does she feel that you are as emotionally invested in her as you’d like her to be in your child(ren)’s lives? (This doesn’t mean that personal boundaries have to be crossed – it can remain very professional.)
The next step is building a true teamwork mentality. Have you been clear about your parenting goals and philosophies? Do you have regular check-ins with your nanny about the children, their individual goals (because we know each child can be SO different), their developmental, emotional, and social progress, and what you each could be doing to help each other? Do you ask your nanny’s opinion and invite feedback? Does her opinion feel valued and welcomed? Your nanny is a true ally in your parenting, and when you show her this, her allegiance to your family grows. And the big winner in your investment in this partnership? Your children!
If you have not looked at your nanny in this way, we encourage you to put a plan in place to expand this win-win relationship. Begin to build a “team” dynamic between you and your Nanny now, even if it means starting small with a quick 10-minute check-in each week, or a quarterly 30-minute meeting without the kids. If you would like to contact us for advice on how to get started or need help with a nanny search, please reach out for a complimentary consultation.
* I’ve used she/her for simplicity for the remainder of the article.