When I look back at raising my children, the two milestones I found the most difficult are teaching my kids to drive, and potty training. Hands down. I wish I had done a bit more research (OK, any research), because there are a number of ways that you, as a nanny, can manage this transitional phase. Potty training is a turning point for toddlers, and you can play a key role.
Preparing for Potty Training
At around 18 months, you can start prepping for potty training. First and foremost, you’ll want to talk to parents about your plans. If they are on board, you will want to start introducing the concepts. When you notice clues that the child needs to go to the bathroom such as pacing, dancing, crossing their legs, holding their diaper, or pulling at their clothes, tell the child what it means. Use and explain basic bathroom words like “pee,” “poop” and “potty” (use the parents’ words and stick with them; avoid using words like dirty or yucky).
At around 21 months, start introducing the toilet, including noticing toilets in other locations in addition to their home. Shortly thereafter, you can introduce a potty chair or a training/potty seat or the regular toilet (this will be in line with the parents’ wishes). If you use a potty chair, you can start by putting it in an area where the child plays to get them used to the idea of sitting on it. You can also have the child pretend to put a stuffed animal or a doll on the potty to go to the bathroom to introduce the concept.
How Do I Know When A Child is Ready for Potty Training
First of all, remember to be patient, because every child is different. There is no set age, rather you’ll want to look to the child to show several signs of readiness:
- Able to walk to the toilet and sit on the chair (either a potty chair or an over-the-toilet seat potty with a stool to climb up)
- Staying dry for longer periods (2+ hours)
- Showing interest in pottying and/or sitting on the potty chair
- Able to pull clothes up and down
- Not liking wet or dirty diapers and/or comes to you for a diaper change
- Signals/communicates when they need to go (see Preparing for Potty Training section above for clues)
- Uses potty words
- Follows basic instructions
Communicating with Parents
You’re going to need a lot of time and energy (about 3-6 months), so make sure you and the parents are ready for the commitment. Life should be fairly stable during that time, and you’ll want to be mostly at the house. Avoid starting this process during big life changes such as travel, around the birth of a sibling, during the transition from a crib to another bed, or moving.
When you both agree that it is time to potty train, you’re going to want to discuss their preferences – child-led or scheduled potty breaks are most typical. You’ll need to have consistency between days, nights, and weekends. You also are going to need to stay in regular communication regarding progress and challenges.
Potty Training Begins
Help children become familiar with the body language clues and say something like, “Looks like you need to use the potty,” and then don’t hesitate. Stop what you are doing and take the child to the bathroom. Whether the child goes or not, praise them for telling you about their need to go. Use encouraging language and celebrate small wins. If the child doesn’t show these signs, you’re probably going to want to schedule an attempt every two hours, and 15-30 minutes after meals (many kids also tend to have a time of day they have a bowel movement).
TIPS:
- Limit the time on the potty to five minutes.
- Wearing loose clothing during this time period is going to make things a little easier.
- Don’t flush the toilet while the child is on the chair – it can scare them.
- You will want to start both boys and girls on the potty, versus teaching a boy to stand and urinate at first.
- Don’t make the child sit on the toilet against their will. You want to use prompts and encouragement, but avoid pressure and don’t force it.
- Celebrate and or provide small rewards such as stickers every time they go in the potty. Getting underwear with the child’s favorite characters can also be a fun motivator.
*Hygiene Note* It is very important to teach children how to wipe, as well as about hand-washing after going to the bathroom (or even trying).
Handling Accidents Gracefully
The number one mantra for this period is to remain calm. While accidents can be disappointing, you don’t want to convey any frustration to the child. Reassure them that accidents happen, and always have extra underwear and clothes handy.
Next Steps: Progress or a Break
After a couple of weeks, you may be able to switch to underwear or pull-ups (again, depending on parents’ wishes). Many children are potty trained by 3 years old, but, if the child is resisting, getting frustrated, or has a setback, you can always take a break for a few weeks or months and try again later. NOTE: Boys often start later and take longer.
Nighttime Training
This part typically falls on parents, but it’s a great idea to provide them with information if this is their first child. Let them know that nighttime dryness can take a lot longer. They’ll want to use training pants and/or a mattress protector as well as limit liquids close to bedtime. Most children stay dry at night by around ages 5-7 years old.
Some children train quickly, while others take quite a bit longer, so try not to have any specific expectations. What you need to do is focus on being a supportive partner in the process, guiding the child through, celebrating progress along the way, and having endless patience. If you need any more tips on potty training or other topics, please reach out to our Staffing Specialist and former nanny Melanie!
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