What if I am Not Connecting With My Nanny Children

Occasionally we will have parents express their concerns about their children bonding with their nannies in the first several weeks. We have written a blog to give them some tips, but we also thought it was important to provide you with resources:

  1. Communicate with the parents: Don’t be afraid to ask your employers for ideas of ways to connect to their children. Ask about their interests, their favorite games, and about the things that bring them joy. Then make an honest effort to engage them and even surprise them.
  2. Take a self-inventory: Try to be honest with yourself…Is there any chance you need to work on your patience? Have you been creative enough in your activities? Are you letting loose and being silly? Have you complained at all in front of the child(ren)? Are you getting enough sleep? Is that making you cranky? If there are any corrections you can make, take action.
  3. Let them know and feel how much you like them: Children like people who like them. They need to feel your positivity and happiness (smiling helps!), they need to see and hear how much you enjoy them and love spending time with them, and that you miss them when you are gone. They need to know that they are special to you.
  4. Get the children involved: Children love to be helpers, so when you are deciding what activities or crafts to do, or what fruits to buy at the grocery store, ask them! If you are unloading the dishwasher, let them put the silverware away, or let them match the socks when you are doing the laundry. Don’t forget to treat them like a partner.
  5. Make sure you are not playing favorites: As with parenting, nannies need to create a special unique bond with each child. Be sure you are making an equal effort to connect with each child.
  6. Don’t compare them to past families: You may have children from past employment that you have known for years – this can’t possibly be your comparison. Each child is different, needs a different amount of time, and expresses their connection differently. Be open to how new relationships can look.

There is no surefire way to bond with children, but by implementing these practices, you are taking proactive steps, showing children that you are committed to connecting. If you are genuine, they will feel that from you. Most importantly, don’t rush it. Some children are slower to open up, but we find that nearly all relationships build over time, leading to a successful and fulfilling caregiving experience.

If you have any questions or would like to talk to one of our Staffing Specialists/ former career nannies, please email Melanie or Elena to book a time on their calendar.