Nanny Employer Blog

You may be aware that the CBS program, The Early Show, is running a week long series on nannies. The broadcast has made the common mistake of implying that online-only job sites provide the same level of service as professional agencies.

The Alliance for Professional Nanny Agencies has provided some of the following information to help parents understand and differentiate between an online nanny database and a full-service nanny placement firm (like Mom’s Best Friend).

A Sittercity spokesperson was interviewed in one segment. Sittercity connects families and nannies online and rarely screens either. Job listing services such as Sittercity should not be confused with full-service nanny agencies.

Online job listing services can give the client a false sense of security. Many online services steer parents to low-cost, computer background checks that offer minimal screening compared to what a top-notch nanny agency would consider adequate. Sittercity connects parents to the LexisNexis background check that costs $9.99. Sittercity’s own web site has a disclaimer that the LexisNexis check covers just 38 states (http://www.sittercity.com/help_detail.html?tag=bgcin). Some online job listing services call the LexisNexis check “nationwide” which can be misleading.

Top notch household staffing agencies require a computer background check, and much more, on each job candidate. Most quality agencies hire a seasoned professional to conduct background checks. You can read in detail about what a thorough background check entails on our web site at: http://theapna.org/blog. We, at Mom’s Best Friend, use a company that provides the most comprehensive background check available at this time, as well as ongoing monthly monitoring for the lifetime of the placement.

Quality nanny agencies also meet each nanny candidate in person and check the candidate’s references and resume. Online job listing services most often do not check qualifications or references. They simply advise parents to perform those tasks.

Careful, experienced household staffing agencies are the best way to protect children, but they also help ensure a job seeker’s safety. Katherine Olson of Minnesota was found dead last October, one day after she responded to an online ad for a nanny job. The 19-year-old man police suspect placed the ad, where he posed as a parent seeking a nanny, is charged with her murder and awaiting trial.

A responsible staffing agency knows when one of its job candidates is being interviewed, and the candidate is expected to report in afterward. The personal contact that a qualified agency provides is an added security measure for both candidates and the hiring families. That service also increases the chances a family will find a nanny that is right for them and decreases the chances of high turnover of nannies in their employment.

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By now, you have hopefully survived the first week of school and have begun to get into a good fall routine. After numerous trips for school supplies, uniforms, and books, and meetings with new teachers, you and your kids can now relax a bit and settle into your new schedule.

For our family, it is always the chance for a new start, a blank slate and we spend a lot of time talking to our eldest 2 daughters about what to expect in this new school grade, how to make the most of their education, how to make friends (and keep them!), first impressions with new teachers, and outlining our expectations of them so that we can all have a great year! It’s of even greater significance for our family to go through this exercise since mom and dad are the teachers too (we home school two of our children 2 days a week as part of the University Model School model school they attend).

One of the biggest challenges we personally face is in getting our 6th grader to take ownership of her school work. We want her to take pride in completing her assignments to the best of her ability and turning them in on time. Our school has a low tolerance for work turned in past the deadline and really wants to help teach kids early on the importance of meeting deadlines so that later on into adulthood, when it’s an important presentation for work, the sense of responsibility and self management has already been long established. For some great homework tips for parents, check out: http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_motivate_kids_homework.html.

Our live-in nanny/home educator, Katie, is a tremendous asset in assisting with our childrens’ learning and development. She made a trip to Teacher Heaven to update our home classroom with colorful bulletin boards and teaching tools, ordered all of our new books and uniforms, and helped get our dedicated space and “students” ready for a new school year! We recently decided that we would set aside time each week for a “book club” where she and I will read relevant books on raising children and discuss ways that we can implement some of the things we are both learning when working with the kids together so we are always on the same page and present a united front! Our first choice is “The Magic of Love & Logic” and I am already very excited about some of the great takeaways from this first read.

At Mom’s Best Friend, we want to support you during this sometimes stressful transition with all the tools and resources you and your family need! Let us know if we can help in any way.

You might have seen one of the two news segments this last week featuring Mom’s Best Friend and our background checks partner, CSIdentity. View Fox segment | View CBS segment

We are very excited to roll out this new program for our clients which will incorporate the most comprehensive checks now available. We believe that we are the first in our industry to introduce this type of check into the screening process, thus guaranteeing our client families tremendous peace of mind.

This new firm we have partnered with, CSIdentity, searches more than 350 million unique identity records for criminal histories, which accounts for 70 million criminal identities in its database versus the FBI which has 55 million. New to our screening are two added features now possible through CSIentity:

• Identity Authentication: validating the identity of each candidate through a series of questions that only that candidate would be able to accurately answer
• Ongoing Monitoring: monthly monitoring that continues to ensure the candidate maintains a clear criminal background.

This last feature is at no additional cost to our clients and continues for the entire duration of employment between the client and caregiver. We are so pleased to be able to offer this unique and exhaustive background checks package to our valued clients.

Mom’s Best Friend has been active in helping to create standards for our industry through the International Nanny Association (www.nanny.org) and The Alliance for Premier Nanny Agencies (www.theapna.com) in the realm of background checks so that there is consistency across the country in this arena, thereby protecting families and children from substandard screening. Let us know what you think about our new offerings!

I just hosted an event at my home for more than 20 of Austin’s best nannies who all came to hear Claire Flynn from For Kids’ Sake speak about terrible twos and terrific toddlers. Although our family has just barely past this stage with our youngest (3-year-old twins), there was still much knowledge to glean that carried over.

I was pleased to see two employers attend with their nannies hoping to take in the great message together and more easily reference what they learned in future conversations. It is heartening to see caregivers so invested in their charges and making their lives better that they are willing to come on their time off, after a long day of working, and take in anything new they can learn. Many shared stories (temper tantrums in the checkout lines), anecdotes (a spoon of honey before bed to control bladder accidents), and sought advice for dilemmas they were encountering from the former Stanford specialist.

The main theme we took in was casting a vision of who you want your child/charge to be when 18 or 19 and leaving the home and working backward from there to teach these core competencies and life skills beginning as early as possible. Claire focused on “democratic parenting,” teaching children they are not the center of the universe, giving them the freedom to fail, equipping them with independence, self reliance and problem solving abilities and spelling out the consequences of any action ahead of time to secure the child’s “buy in.” Role playing and encouragement verses praise. And then, repetition, repetition, repetition!

Our caregivers were coached on how to remain neutral (at least in appearance!) when a child acts out in order to keep from giving them what they want…a reaction! They were empowered and extolled for their professionalism and daily commitment to an often challenging but very rewarding vocation. After more than 2 hours of coaching and Q&A, our session came to and end and it was another half hour before Claire could sneak out and head home.

The only feedback I received was “I wish it was longer! I have so many more questions!” Be encouraged…we will bring her back again next quarter to impart more pearls of wisdom!

Not so long ago at MBF, we made an employee agreement a mandatory item for our clients and their household staff - at this point, all clients must have some kind of written agreement or contract with their employees in order to be eligible to receive our replacement guarantee. They are free to rely on our standard agreement, one that is literally 14 years and thousands of families in the making. They are likewise free to use one of their own, so there is some flexibility. But mandating this feature is still a bold move, I know, and it is perhaps one that begs some explaining.

Back in the days when employee agreements were optional, again and again we encountered sticking points between families and their staff. Without a written agreement between the two parties, relationships were often tested over all sorts of terms, both significant and seemingly trivial - including the conditions of termination, severance pay, vacation, sick time, holidays, and much more. And since there was no agreed-upon standard to turn to when disputes occurred, these relationships just as often broke down altogether, with neither party willing to yield ground once those grounds were tested.

Ultimately, then, we made the employee agreement a mandatory item because it was the surest way for us to back up our constant goal of creating enduring and productive relationships between clients and their household staff. And although it may be common to think that employee agreements are mostly about salary terms, our company agreement encompasses so much more than that. Everything from the amount of notice expected to what to do on snow days has found its way in, rooted directly in the real-life experiences of all the families we have ever worked with. In that way, it is also a living document, one that I’m sure will continue to evolve and grow as MBF continues to do so as well.

At this point, the employee agreement has become such an integral part of our big service picture that it is even typically negotiated with the formal job offer, and it is also the baseline for the negotiations typically conducted during annual reviews. Additionally, we constantly come back to it whenever disputes arise between clients and their employees - even terms that may seem unusual to outsiders are typically upheld if they have been agreed upon by both parties. In the end, it provides the best way for us to be fair and neutral arbiters and to provide the highest level of service and support to families and their staff.

In my Ask the Expert column from our latest company newsletter, I respond to a question from a woman interested in tips on preparing for the holidays. In addition to shopping early and planning ahead for the usual seasonal activities, this question also leads me to consider ways to our families can prepare to celebrate the season’s core values. Namely, how can parents can resist the ever-present consumerism we see around Christmas and instill in their children a sense other-centeredness that is really at the heart of the season?

I see plenty of good examples when I look at the families of my friends and colleagues. For instance, Wendy Petersen, MBF Austin’s Director of Permanent Services, does something truly great for her kids: She takes them on a field trip to the dollar store where each of them buy something for each of their siblings. I think this is a wonderful way for children to realize not only that they need to think beyond their own Christmas wishes but that it is within their power to give joy to others.

Of course, other families I know take the spirit of giving a step further by involving their kids in charitable activities for those less fortunate. Acts of philanthropy can take many different forms during the holidays - I’ve seen families do everything from filling shoeboxes with essential items for children in developing nations to volunteering their time to prepare food for the homeless on Thanksgiving. Just clearing our kids’ closets of unwanted and unused toys to give to other children, I think, supports the value of charity and discourages a hoarding mentality in children. (And, ultimately, our children will no doubt have a whole new batch of fancy toys and electronics to replace the old ones by season’s end anyway.)

No matter if we choose to have our children donate old toys or give time to charity, though, I believe that involving our kids in giving this holiday season is essential to having them understand its true meaning. When they’re young, this might mean that we take them to a paint-your-own-pottery shop so they can create gifts for others. When they’re a bit older, it can mean they earn money to buy their own gifts for friends, family and teachers. (It’s especially great when we encourage our kids to put real thought and care into these purchases!) Any way we choose to do it, however, when we engage our kids in the spirit of giving we also empower them to be more than passive recipients this season, and for seasons to come.

In this day and age, most of our lives have in some way been touched by divorce, if not within our own marriages then in the lives of many of the people we know, including family members and friends. While experts may disagree on exactly how many marriages actually end in divorce (see http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?ex=1190174400&en=bcc997bf7a872e42&ei=5070 for an interesting argument against the common wisdom that 50% of all marriages end in divorce), it is a fact that divorce numbers remain higher in our country than in other industrialized nations, with Texas’s divorce rate holding pretty close to the national average, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s most recent report. All of this means that, as nannies, many of you will work with families directly impacted by divorce, and this can present certain challenges you will not encounter in other households.

Of course, it should first be noted that the different kinds of challenges you encounter may depend on how long ago the divorce took place, whether the divorce is still pending, and the state of the parents’ current relationship, among other factors. For instance, you may be hired by a parent either recently or long separated from their former spouse. In these cases, one challenge we sometimes see is that, although you have been employed by only one parent, the other parent may attempt to use your services as well. Without a doubt, this can create uncertainty in your work situation. In other cases, you may have been hired by a family before their separation; when the parents split, you may experience increasing confusion as their communication breaks down and loyalties begin to be questioned.

In almost all divorce situations, though, your task will be a great one: Be an impartial professional in the aid of your employer(s) while acting as a source of comfort and constancy to their children, who will typically feel anxious and angry given such a volatile, emotionally-charged environment. Although you cannot count on an amicable and cooperative relationship between the parents to support you in your work, by keeping three firm principles in mind you can navigate your way through what at times can seem a hopelessly daunting situation for any caregiver.

The first principle is to communicate honestly with your employer about boundaries, rules, and anything that may make you feel uncomfortable about the divorce arrangement. For instance, in the case of a non-employer parent expecting to use your services, talk to your employer and establish clear boundaries. If the two of you agree that you are responsible solely to your employer, this means you can politely but clearly communicate these boundaries to the other parent the next time he or she approaches you. This kind of direct, open communication with your employer can be extended to any divorce-related issues, from whom to contact in an emergency to knowing where and when you are supposed to report to work. If there are many new rules and boundaries that need to be established, it may be a good idea to negotiate these into a written form, similar to your Employment Agreement.

The second principle is to maintain consistency as much possible though your work. This may not always be easy–many divorce proceedings are defined by their volatility more than anything else. But it’s perhaps especially crucial to try and remain constant in these cases–constancy is exactly what your charges will need. Therefore, it becomes even more important not to vary from regular routines–such as set reading times, walks, snacks, etc.–and to maintain clear limits with the children you care for. Feeling surrounded by uncertainty, many children will attempt to test limits as much as possible during and even after a divorce. As is usually the case, though, what they want is not an absence of boundaries but just the opposite–they want to see clear limits enforced since so much in their lives seems to be falling apart. This goal of maintaining consistency, of course, should not be confused with harsh discipline and punishment. Quite the contrary–your charges want stability, not rigidity, and you should do your best to establish a secure, stable environment for them.

Which leads me to the final principle compassion. Divorce is often a highly destabilizing force for everyone in the family. This is especially true for children who may not understand what is going on and may blame themselves for it. You can offer so much to them just by listening to their feelings, without judging and especially without taking sides in family conflicts. By knowing they are in a safe place in expressing their feelings to you, you are giving your charges the gift of compassion, which may be the thing they are looking for most of all.

Of course, one could write a book on coping with divorce (and many have!). Unfortunately, though, I have not found one which speaks from the nanny’s perspective. It is a topic which certainly merits more discussion than we can devote here, but our counselors are always available to answer questions and offer you guidance in what we know can be an uncertain time in the life of your employer.

Special thanks to MBF staff member, Kristin Hart, for her valuable contribution to this blog.

A nanny manager is useful to a family in so many ways, and the school year only makes her usefulness more evident. She handles not only childcare duties but necessary household functions as well. These can include basic errands like picking up the dry cleaning, going grocery shopping, and making trips to the post office; household chores like washing laundry and planning basic meals; and extra duties involving the children such as organizing after-school activities and providing supervision and extra security if your family decides to travel during a school holiday. In short, she has a great deal of work to occupy her time while the kids are at school, thereby justifying her full-time status. A nanny manager provides added value by helping to eliminate distractions that would usually reduce the amount of time you spend with the most important people in your life, as well as the amount of precious time you have to let yourself recharge.

A full-time nanny manager may not be in everyone’s budget, but a cost-effective option is to share her services with another family, thereby cutting the cost of a nanny manager in half. This is an especially appealing option for neighboring families whose children attend the same school and have, more or less, the same schedule. You can capitalize on those parallel schedules and let one nanny manager take all the kids to school and pick them up together. Of course, this also might mean a little extra effort on your part in coordinating your nanny manager’s schedule with another family. You will have to negotiate how she allocates her time while the children are in school and afterschool childcare arrangements. However, you will find the benefits of hiring a nanny manager still far outweigh any potential challenges entailed in sharing her services.

In closing, I just want to add that we always appreciate your feedback and love to hear your comments and questions about our services. We will always do our best to give you the best possible options we can, whatever your needs may be.

It has been estimated that the average person today will change jobs 10-12 times, with three to five different career changes, during his or her lifetime. On one hand, this can be seen as a positive statistic: workers today seem to have more opportunities than did their parents and grandparents, who were often stuck in the same careers - even the same jobs - their entire working lives. On the other hand, the uncertainty of our careers today makes the consequences of career isolation that much greater. When I say career isolation, I mean a condition in which a worker lacks basic resources - including experience, information and connections - which help guide him or her toward career success. And with more and more of us experiencing ever more transitional periods between jobs in the course of our working lives, we have come to rely more heavily on all of those resources to minimize the impact of those transitions and ease us more quickly into our new job roles.

Of the resources I just mentioned, though, it seems to me connections are first and foremost. Networking - the process of gaining and maintaining career connections - is vital today because it is the key to gaining everything else you need in your career: expert advice from seasoned colleagues, additional contacts and, most importantly, allies who can help you whatever happens in your career adventure. For nannies, the value of networking is perhaps even greater than it is for most because, for the most part, a nanny spends her day working with children. As such, she has very few opportunities for building essential connections with her peers. Nannies may feel career isolation more acutely than other workers as a result, the consequences being diminished career satisfaction and increased job turnover. This can be a real issue for those of us in love with our caregivers, willing to do anything to keep them happy as employees.

I mention all of this because last week MBF hosted a Nanny Playdate at my house in which all of our nannies had the opportunity to swim, eat, tell stories and jokes, and generally enjoy each other’s company. You would hardly think we were doing serious work to look at us, but I feel strongly that these events serve a very important purpose. Given the few opportunities for networking in our industry, it is essential to create times in which nannies can build relationships with one another, for the sake of their career success and our clients’ satisfaction. Our Nanny Playdates, which have been previously held at fun locations such as Zilker Park, the Austin Zoo, Austin Children’s Museum and Amy’s Ice Cream, offer our nannies the chance to share first-hand experiences and advice, ultimately improving the level of service your nanny provides you while making her more satisfied and confident in her job.

Nanny Playdates are one way that MBF invests in our nannies. As those of you who follow this blog and our company newsletter know, we also regularly offer seminars, training and other career development opportunities as well. We do all of this because I firmly believe that MBF is a company not simply committed to filling nanny positions; we are dedicated to building lasting, productive relationships between our clients and the well-matched caregivers we take pains to select for them. Since your one-in-a-million caregiver does not show up every day, we know you are committed to investing in her and keeping her as satisfied with you as you are with her. We are too.

Looking back, it doesn’t seem so long ago (to me, at least!) that MBF Agency was a company of just four employees housed in our lone office in Austin. After 13 years in business, though, I’m happy to report today that we are a thriving, rapidly growing company, with over 20 employees, offices in Austin, Houston, and Dallas/Fort Worth, and plans for expansion that should soon bring more MBF services to more customers in more parts of Texas (San Antonio!), as well as into other parts of the country. However, none of this could have happened without the dogged efforts of a talented and hard-working staff. As a business owner, I’m always thinking about the best ways to attract and retain the best people–an indispensable element to any successful company, especially a growing one.

In today’s job market, however, prospective employees discover stark differences among companies when they evaluate their respective employment policies. I recently ran across a startling statistic–nearly half of all private sector workers in the U.S. have no paid sick days available to them. It’s staggering when you think about it–almost half of all private sector workers must lose a full day’s pay not only when they’re ill but also when they have children or family members who need emergency care. Certainly, to deny employees some recourse in case of illness or family emergency doesn’t seem a very good way to boost morale or engender company loyalty (it actually seems to me a pretty effective way to increase employee turnover and profit losses). Among some of the best companies in the country, however, there has been a realization in recent years that to attract top talent and prevent rampant employee absenteeism (and all the business losses that result from it) they need to not only offer an adequate number of paid sick days–they also need to provide employees with the resources they need to prevent absences stemming from emergencies in family care arrangements. Perhaps this is why almost half of the companies on Forbes’s competitive “Top 100 Companies to Work For” list offer corporate emergency backup care as part of their employees’ benefits packages.

Corporate backup care is a benefit which offers employees a fixed number of emergency care days whenever they find themselves in need of family care for children or elder relatives. Companies contract family care providers, such as MBF, to send out reliable, qualified caregivers to their employees’ homes whenever one of their dependents is sick or when regular care arrangements fall through–meaning no more hurried daycare drop-offs or frantic calls to neighborhood babysitters in the last hours before work. It is obviously a true benefit to employees in every sense of the word, offering tremendous assurance to anyone who has ever experienced the panic that results from an emergency school cancellation or a child’s sudden sick day–the awful realization that you will have to miss that crucial meeting because you have no one you can turn to for last-minute childcare. As a mother, I know how stressful these moments can be; as an employer, I know what a negative financial impact these days can have on a business when they accumulate over time. In fact, according to a Work & Families Institute study published in 2002, in a three-month period, 29% of employed parents experienced some type of family care breakdown, resulting in absenteeism, tardiness and reduced concentration at work–and costing American businesses more than $3 billion annually. Perhaps this is why more and more businesses are willing to subsidize part or all of the cost of backup care benefits–it means guaranteed savings to a company in the long run, not to mention a more productive and contented staff.

Because I understand the premium value of corporate backup care both as a backup care provider and an employer who proudly offers this benefit to her staff, I am honored to report that at this month’s annual conference for Work Options Group, our Colorado-based backup care partner, MBF Agency was named Most Valuable Provider out of the over 2,000 family care providers with whom WOG is partnered. It’s a significant acknowledgement of all of our efforts in the area of backup care, which our company began providing to top companies such as Dell, AT&T, Alliance Data Systems, and Fullbright & Jaworski–among many others–almost four years ago. I predict this benefit will become more and more talked about in the coming years as companies in our increasingly specialized economy compete to attract the most desirable candidates in the workforce, and I am proud to be able to assist businesses across the state in providing this service.

If you are interested in learning more about how to introduce corporate backup care benefits to your company, we are always pleased to provide employees with all the information you need make a backup care presentation to your HR departments. Our MBF corporate backup care specialists will be happy to answer all of your questions and assist you in bringing this valuable service to your respective organization.