We are very intentional about keeping our communication positive and encouraging, but part of being supportive is to be honest. The reality is that there are times when nannies are let go. Sometimes it is simply because the fit is not a match, or needs have evolved, but that is not the focus here. More often than not, it comes down to a few common issues that are within your control. We want you to be aware of them so you can avoid these hazards.
1. Communication Has Broken Down
Families often notice communication breakdowns when regular updates about their children’s progress, daily activities, or changing needs stop. They may find that responses to messages or emails are slow, inconsistent, or missing altogether. Additionally, feedback may start to feel uncomfortable, with conversations becoming tense or defensive. In some cases, a nanny with a strong personality may unintentionally overwhelm a client who is more reserved, introverted, or eager to please. Over time, a lack of open, respectful communication can lead to misunderstandings, missed chances to resolve small issues early, and a growing sense of distance in the relationship.
2. The Family’s Parenting Approach is Not Being Respected
As a nanny, you may have your own perspectives and experiences with child-rearing, and those are valuable. However, your professional role is to support the parents’ established rules, routines, dietary guidelines, and parenting methods, even if they differ from your own. Families hire you to carry out their approach when they are not there. Problems arise when a nanny begins to replace a parent’s instructions with their own choices, openly questions their decisions, or slowly shifts without approval. In some cases, nannies become so integrated into the family that they begin to act as equal decision-makers in parenting, but this can erode trust. Clients may not always express their discomfort directly, especially if they are conflict-avoidant or eager to preserve the relationship. However, they still notice when their wishes are not being fully respected.
3. Reliability Has Declined
Reliability is one of the most important parts of your role as a nanny, as families depend on you to arrive on time and keep your commitments. When tardiness, unplanned absences, or last-minute schedule changes occur, it disrupts the family’s stability and creates stress for the parents. Sometimes a decline in reliability can happen because you are unhappy in the role, facing personal challenges, or feeling overly comfortable and less attentive to professional boundaries, but it is not acceptable to let those challenges repeatedly impact your consistency. It forces families to scramble for coverage and erodes their trust in you. One of the most disappointing outcomes I see is when a nanny works for a family for years but ends things with poor reliability, leaving a negative final impression that ultimately impacts the reference. Finishing a position strong is essential for protecting your long-term nanny career.
How You Can Avoid Being Blindsided
When families reach out to us about finding a new nanny, we often ask if they have already spoken to their current nanny about the issues they are experiencing. Most have, and the rest usually plan to do so after our conversation. That said, not all families are comfortable being direct, so it is important to take the lead. Regularly check in with the parents, ask how they feel things are going, and invite feedback on where you can improve. Proactively seeking their perspective not only helps prevent small concerns from becoming larger problems, it also demonstrates professionalism and a genuine commitment to the family’s needs.
It is also important to monitor your own feelings and avoid letting small frustrations or resentments build up over time (spoiler alert – even if you think you are hiding them, you probably aren’t). Approach any concerns with honesty and curiosity, while remaining professional, empathetic, and collaborative. Express your thoughts clearly without assigning blame, and listen carefully to the family’s perspective. By staying open and receptive, you can address issues before they escalate and maintain a trusting, respectful relationship.
If you need any specific advice, please reach out to Melanie.